Written by prodosaul on September 10, 2014
Here at Force 10 Paintball, we get a lot of stag parties looking for a way to have some fun and let off steam before the big day. You won’t be surprised to learn that most of the shots are fired in the direction of the groom-to-be!
For many best men, they feel that in order to truly live up to the title of “best” man, they have to organise an awesome stag do. And the one thing that makes the difference between “okay” and “EPIC” is a good old-fashioned stag prank. Our visitors have been more than happy to tell us what happened on their stag days; here are some of the best we’ve heard about.
Cuff Him and Leave
This is the classic stag prank, so the list wouldn’t be complete without it. You know the drill: make the groom ditch most of his clothes, tie or handcuff him to a lamppost, then bugger off and leave him there alone. The specifics are entirely up to the best man – we’ve heard tales of everything from pouring a tin of beans over his head to covering him in glitter and feathers!
A few hours tied to a lamppost will be more than enough public humiliation, but many decide to spice it up a bit: a pink tutu is a good one, but our favourite was probably the sign reading “spank me”. He’d have had more than just a red face after that one…
Don’t worry, we’re not just talking about hiring a regular stripper here – that’s not much of a prank! No, the stories we’ve heard about strippers all have a bit of a sting in the tail, as the undresser in question tends to be someone… unexpected, shall we say.
The best one of these involved a good deal of setting up – the stags would keep hinting at the amazing “special guest” that they’d booked for the evening, thus building up the groom’s expectations. When the night finally rolled around, the poor guy’s hopes were shattered when he answered the door to an overweight man in a fireman’s uniform…
A simple but potentially humiliating little prank – one group were heading to Prague for a stag weekend, and decided to liven things up a bit in the airport by slipping a few er… items of an embarrassing nature in to the groom’s carry-on luggage just before going through the scanners.
Now, while we won’t say exactly what the items were, we will tell you that the objects in question could possibly be purchased at a high street store whose name rhymes with uh, “Ban Summers”… Apparently, the look on the groom’s face was priceless!
Failure to Show
This one is also simple, but much crueller than the above option. The stags all arrange a particular meeting place, but tell the groom they’ll be going to a different venue entirely. That way, the husband-to-be arrives all dressed up (maybe in an embarrassing costume for extra fun) at a bar or club where he knows literally no one.
Once the initial hilarity is over, this prank can go a few different ways – variety is the spice of life and all that! Either they phone the stag, tell him he’s an idiot and have a great time as he sips an ale in an old man pub while wearing a mankini, or they let him know where they really are and they have an awesome night, no harm done. Or there’s a third option, which involves having a real stag night the next weekend!
The Bait and Switch
Similar to the above prank, it differs in that the ditching is more emotional than physical. In the weeks leading up to the big stag do, all the stags hint at the fact that they’re going somewhere really special for it, slowly building up the anticipation. “Is your passport still valid?”
The best one had the groom thinking they were off to Sin City, Las Vegas. He was pretty baffled when they bundled him on a coach to Blackpool, with the realisation only finally dawning when they got off outside the Las Vegas amusements arcade by the Pleasure Beach! Of course, a kind friend would then take them to the airport… but where’s the fun in that?
We’ve seen a lot of this one – it involves paintballing! The idea is one of the easiest of all; the lads go out paintballing as usual, but with one caveat: the groom has to do the whole thing in a big, obvious costume.
This makes it incredibly hard to keep from being seen, as well as making it difficult to shoot straight. This means he’s a sitting duck, so there is a choice to be made – are you kind, and play as normal, or are you cruel, teaming up to pummel your poor pal with paint?
Break a Leg
Not literally, of course. Once the groom passes out, the stags set to work with a little plaster of Paris, giving him a nice big plaster cast running up his leg (or arm – the choice is yours!). When he eventually comes to, he’s told he was dancing on a table, fell over a wall… whatever. Some plausible and embarrassing reason, and he has to go through the day worrying that he’s ruined the wedding photos!
One group took things a little too far, however – they thought it was so hilarious that they didn’t tell him until the best man’s speech! The new bride was furious: the photos looked terrible and they’d had to pay for his suit to be altered! Needless to say they were in the doghouse for a while…
A Smurfy Good Time
This one seems to be getting more and more popular, as we’re hearing more and more stories like it all the time! Basically, the stags go out and employ the services of a dwarf for the night. Said little person paints him- or herself entirely blue, and pulls on a white and hat shorts and hey presto, you have a Smurf.
Next come the handcuffs. The poor groom has to stay attached to the (also poor) Smurf AT ALL TIMES through the night (or over the whole weekend if you’re feeling particularly evil), no matter what he’s doing. Yes, this includes going to the gents’. Believe it or not, there are actually sites that offer this “service”…
The Captain’s Beard
This has to be the most outrageous story we’ve ever been told! The stags hired a yacht and took to the sea for a day of drunken debauchery on the waves. The groom got to be at the helm of the boat, but to really be the captain, he had to look the part, and so was forced to don the captain’s hat, the captain’s jacket, and the captain’s beard.
At some point during the day – after the fourth beer but before the vodka made an appearance – the beard started to itch, and the captain wondered where they’d found it. It was so coarse, and it actually felt like human hair; very impressive. It wasn’t until the next day that he found out that the hair had been kindly, er, contributed by the other stags… He won’t live that one down any time soon!
The Kidnap Victim
This one’s definitely not for the faint of heart. The group had decided to go for a pilsner-fuelled weekend in Prague, and when the groom stepped out of the airport, a group of “soldiers” pulled a hood over his head and chucked him in the back of a van, before driving him off to an unknown location.
At the destination, he was forced out of the van and into a chair. Then his hood was yanked off… and he saw all his friends laughing at him. A bottle of Pils was thrust into his hand, they all had a good laugh, then went off to enjoy their weekend – free of gun-toting soldiers! We’re not sure all grooms would be quite so forgiving!